Principles Inventory

Bob O. out of Colorado, Fellowship of the Spirit AA Group 

Can we get so curious about what is being said and the impact of it WITHOUT getting swept away by the content?

Write out the self-denigrating prayers/principles by which you actually live.  Inherited beliefs imprinted on the brain; challenging to id these recurring thoughts without stillness.

Write out the main repetitive phrases from the thinking stream/negative self-talk.

Examples:

I’m just a dumbass.
I’ll never amount to anything.
I am and always will be nothing.

  1.  What is the lie? (Notice we are already calling it untrue because it is not happening in the present moment)
  2.  Where is the first time you ever heard this? Write short synopsis of the scene where it was said.  Can be as simple as, “What I was told by a parent.”
  3. Is it true?  How do you know this? Answer cannot be, “Because my mom/dad/brother said so? Look at how believing this/repeating this affects your pride; security; ambition; personal relationships; sexual relationships. 

If it is NOT true:

  1. What are you getting by holding onto it?  Having your identity coil around it?
    – Is this selfish?
    – Is it Kind?
    – Is it suffering? Or bringing an ending to suffering?
    – Is this giving you an impression of control?
  2. Can I see that this is why I suffer? Not that it was said, but that I keep repeating it?  Placing the log on the fire of someone else’s lack of compassion, parenting skill, or self-regulation? That they are/were locked in their own suffering for whatever reason?
  3. Is holding onto this principle/belief selfish?  How is my identity coiled around this belief? What is the payoff for believing this lie?  Believing that the “self” is permanent?  Fixed? 

If it is TRUE:

  1.  Can I hold my limitations with compassion?
    •  Can I hold my hand up and be accountable for the impact of this negative behavior on others? On myself? Not in a shaming or judgmental way but with equanimity and clarity?
  2.  Can I locate the very first time this behavior became operative as a means of protection?
  3. What can you/are you willing to do so that this behavior is no longer so?  No longer operative?  Detangled from the moment of utterance?